Breakups, they happen to everyone. They come in all shapes and sizes; some are swift and painless, others knock you round in ways you cant quite explain. Apparently, the average person will go through at least three major breakups in their lifetime. That’s quite a lot of time to experience something so cataclysmic.
I run a site called Never Liked It Anyway
– it’s a place to sell all that stuff you’re left with when a relationship ends. It’s about breakups, but really, it’s about moving on and getting through the bad bit of a breakup quickly so that you can get back to being your most awesome self.
I get asked a lot about how to move on. It’s not easy, that’s for sure. But there are certainly things you can do to help. Below I’m sharing my top ten.
1. Redecorate Your Space
Your surroundings reflect your reality. Changing up some basic things will not only refresh your space, it will refresh your mind. You can do some cheap and easy fixes like changing bedding or moving some furniture around. Or, if you’re feeling game, you can go all out: Paint the walls and refurbish your room.
If you’re in an all-out mood and ready for a stunning transformation, check out the affordable design marketplace Laurel & Wolf
, or visit Craigslist to nab a new easy chair, hit up a local flea market and find some exquisite fabrics or invite your friends round and host a paint party.
2. Name Your Triggers
Let’s face it, there’ll be meltdowns along the way. All those things that remind you of your ex now bring about a note of sorrow — your special song, your Sunday stroll, your coffee spot – even that cocktail you both used to love. These can bring you to tears.
Grab a pen and a friend, and write down your list of triggers. Then write what you can do to either avoid them or what to do when they inevitably come your way. Whatever you do, know what’s going to set you off and have a plan for them.
3. Toss It, Sell It Or Burn It
Love notes, mementos, jewelry, Valentine’s day presents, handmade cards. They were cute at the time, but now they are just a constant reminder of the love you’ve lost. Either toss them or if they have some value, consider selling them (we know just the place
!). We’re obviously a little biased, but you may as well make a profit off your breakup baggage and use the money to buy something to enjoy in this new stage.
Clearing yourself of clutter allows you to move forward. A clear space creates space for the new and exciting. And a little bonfire now and then can be a very cathartic experience. It’s not about revenge or being bitter; it’s about making space for the new.
4. Clear Your Phone
This one can be painful, so perhaps do it with a friend. Delete those old messages, photos and videos that remind you of the past. You might have the urge to save the photos, but imagine yourself happily in love a year from now. Will you really want to be looking at these old snaps?
If the answer is still yes, then put them somewhere difficult to access. This is one of those weird, rare instances that an external hard drive is better than the cloud.
5. Manage Social Media
Now for the hard part, de-coupling on social media. Unfollow, unfriend, de-tag – whatever you need to do to make sure they don’t come scrolling through your feed looking happy, healthy and potentially loved up. Obviously, you and your ex will both be happy again one day, but in the meantime, you don’t need the reminders of them living life without you.